Shades of grey

I'm more at peace now than ever with the fact that no one is all good or all bad. Even Public Enemy No. 1 (whomever that may be at a certain point in time) may stop and guilelessly offer candy to kids. As more time passes from the sadness in recent years, I can appreciate the whole composition of each individual residing in the frozen frames in my mind. Where I've concentrated on the darkness in past posts, I have created space in my mind to see also the good that was mixed into the picture.

It is in this intersection -- between goodness and evil -- that humanity finds its redemption and condemnation. There is the hope that goodness will prevail in each of us and subsequently in our world, but there is the knowledge that the other half may win out in that individual at that time. What's important to me is never to give up on someone. History has redemption stories sewn into its quilted testimony of humanity's potential. We do not ever get the full story, but what we see resonates with examples around us in present day and we can fill the gaps with what we've witnessed.

Saul is a classic example. A hater of Christians to the extent of imprisoning and killing as many as he could, this man later would address them as 'brothers' and contribute a bulk of writings to their main book of guidance. "I long to see you so that I may impart to you some spiritual gift to make you strong -- that is, that you and I may be mutually encouraged by each other's faith," St. Paul writes in Romans 1:11. Could this be the same man?

Perhaps the majority of soulful changes aren't as drastic, but all are notable. And all should be remembered -- not just the changes from hatred to love, but also the falls from good. Those are equally a part of humanity's story. They serve as a cautionary tale that our souls are on the battlefield; good and evil are fighting daily to gain ground. What many of us don't realize is how much these daily skirmishes do count until their results are manifested in an act that seems foreign to our nature and we struggle to comprehend how we might have arrived there.

In times when I might be surprised by words that come out of my mouth or a particular action that doesn't seem to fit with the rest of me, Socrates' words return to me: "The unexamined life is not worth living." The Jesuits, founded by St. Ignatius of Loyola, educated me in college and I am grateful to their influence. In addition to their emphasis on social justice and serving others, they also taught me about a nightly reflection called "The Examination of Conscience." In it, one remembers the day and thinks of the moments that were well-lived and those in which one fell short of his/her potential. With this practice, goodness gains ground in the awareness and commitment to do better the next day. And by acknowledging that we are works in progress, our compassion grows for those around us, as well.

'Under Construction' sign in Singapore; Photo credit: Flickr user 'hellochris'