On suffering

Courtesy of Beliefnet:

"Suffering, pain, sorrow, humiliation, feelings of loneliness, are nothing but the kiss of Jesus, a sign that you have come so close that he can kiss you. Do you understand, brothers, sisters, or whoever you may be? Suffering, pain, humiliation—this is the kiss of Jesus."

--Mother Teresa

Processing pain

I've never identified with Eeyore. While I feel for him and always hope I'll get to see him having a good day, his negativity grates on me.

My parents raised my sisters and me with an appreciation for empowering oneself and rising above any difficult situation (both of them are political refugees and lost everything only to adapt and rebuild in three countries).

Which is why I hope that those of you who know me can appreciate the distinction between my self and my blog. Scanning the list of titles to prompt my memory of posts, I realize there's a lot on here that's sad, bordering on angry, and working from being victimized to becoming a survivor. I've used this space as a way of reclaiming my voice through the haze of disorientation and pain in the wake of major life changes. I've also dedicated a lot of real estate to domestic violence for healing purposes but also in hopes of raising awareness on an issue that is often kept safely in the shadows with justifications like "It's personal," or "It's just between them." The truth is it's a public issue and it's between all of us because on many levels our society permits it (and will continue to do so until more dialogue and ownership takes place). [dismounting soapbox]

It can be uncomfortable to face the rawness in these situations and disconcerting to see someone's heart laid bare (unless you're an artist who strives to do that as well), but I hope that you'll continue to take this journey with me. If you know me, I hope that you'll also set these soulful struggles within the greater picture of who you know me to be. If you don't know me, well, I hope that my writings resonate and move you on some level. If they give you greater clarity on some situation in your life, I would consider my time on earth a success.

I will continue to write through the process of healing, and embracing the transformative effect of pain. Looking back at legendary artists' lives, I can't help but notice that few, if any, led easy, happy lives. But they found solace in their pain with the opportunity to channel that into self-expression and into leaving some kind of legacy (although most died before earning the public's appreciation).  Studying their lives has motivated me not to run from the painful moments but to surrender to them instead.

"I do not believe that sheer suffering teaches. If suffering alone taught, all the world would be wise, since everyone suffers. To suffering must be added mourning, understanding, patience, love, openness, and the willingness to remain vulnerable."  (--Anne Morrow Lindbergh)

Bite-sized inspiration

"The world is full of suffering.
It is also full of overcoming it."

--Helen Keller

The Artistic Soul

I'd like to gradually fold in some of my work stretching back over time. This was written in October 2007.

Centuries of warfare
have torn down the world
The rape of humanity:
Hatred unfurled

With widespread suffering
and desperate lament,
Hope is beaten down;
vengeance spent

But within caustic clashes
holding hostage countless lives
the artist selects his canvas
and with colors, hope revives

In a charred and smoking landscape
he swirls shades to uplift souls
his stream of inspiration restores:
shattered spirits become whole.

In no way do I wish to oversimplify the healing process after traumatic experiences, but I do want to speak to the power of artists as healers, whether they be painters, musicians, photographers, writers or sculptors. Their work brings sense back into chaos or simply allows us to sit with the questions, knowing we are not alone and feeling connected to a humanity that has triumphed over suffering.