Happy 'tails'

If Friday's post examined the cruelty and double standards of human treatment of animals, let this one tell the story of redemption and love. Check out the new beginnings of these lovable little ones and the fantastic humans who went to great lengths to save them. Be sure to vote on your favorite dog story and, of course, the kitties' too!

A closing thought from St. Francis of Assisi:

If you have men who will exclude any of God's creatures from the shelter of compassion and pity, you will have men who will deal likewise with their fellow men.

Update 8/23: Voting is now closed.

Questioning Tradition

 When a man wants to murder a tiger he calls it sport; when the tiger wants to murder him he calls it ferocity.  ~George Bernard Shaw

A story out of northern Spain reported today exemplifies this perfectly. Spectators in the stands at a bullfight had the tables turned when the bull jumped the barrier and used his power against them. Let me preface my remarks: My heart and prayers go out to the injured, especially the 10-year-old boy who is in intensive care as a result. Having said that, I can't help but question the senselessness of this situation.

I remember silent tears sliding down my cheeks when I attended a bullfight in Spain more than a decade ago. The injustice of a system entirely stacked against this mighty creature; the indignity of a death wished for and cheered by hundreds who paid to see it (i.e., to bring it about) sickened me.

I was an unwilling, albeit ignorant, accomplice. While I knew there would be a man teasing a bull, I had no idea there were two other men assigned to weaken the bull's neck muscles by stabbing it repeatedly (if acrobatically). The punctures are "gentle" enough for the paying public to be satisfied with a drawn-out dramatic event, in which the best case scenario would include the unscathed matador delivering the final blow to the bull and being awarded the animal's ears as a trophy. Not all "fights" unfold that way, as we saw this May when a matador was gored in the throat.

French musician Francis Cabrel wrote a song from the bull's perspective called "La Corrida." Two favorite verses from that song roughly translate as such:

Ils ont frappés fort dans mon coup [They struck my neck hard]
pour que je m'incline [so that I would bow]
Ils sortent d'oú, ces acrobates? [They're coming from where, these acrobats?]
Avec leurs costumes de papier? [With their costumes of paper?]
J'ai jamais appris a me battre  [I never learned to fight]
contre des poupées [against dolls]
...
Je les entends rire comme je rale [I hear them laugh as I groan]
Je les vois danser comme je succombe [I see them dance as I die]
Je ne pensais pas qu'on puisse autant s'amuser [I never thought one could have so much fun]
Autour d'une tombe [around a tomb]

The saddest part of today's story is that the bull was killed for acting on the instincts it was bred to have and for venting its rage at the indignity of its existence.

Who's ferocious now?

***

From beasts we scorn as soulless,
In forest, field and den,
The cry goes up to witness
The soullessness of men.
~M. Frida Hartley

Just learned about ...

... yarnbombing! This NYC image is courtesy of KT Tunstall's Facebook feed and the term tip-off was from her FB friend who encouraged everyone to check out other examples online. I have to admit: I love the concept: "...reclaiming and personalizing sterile or cold public places" (Wikipedia).

I love the sense of play, the non-destructive nature of it and the push to make the urban landscape a little more friendly. Knit on, yarnbombers, knit on!

Coolest pots ever?

Around the corner from one of my most favorite places in D.C. - Busboys and Poets. Next time you're in the area, stop by and have a drink or snack. Sink into one of the couches, bring a good book, or peruse the bookstore's shelves and buy one.

It's a place I would truly miss if I left this town.

And we're back

My apologies for the inactivity on the blog. I just returned from a weekend retreat that proved to be especially restful and fruitful, due to the atmosphere of silence that prevailed. I'll write more on that later, but I just wanted to let you know that I'm here and planning to blow the dust off this page shortly. ;-) Thanks for stopping by!

A tribute to resilience

Despite the sad situation, this story is surprisingly uplifting. I'm so glad this kitty is surrounded by loving caretakers. Here's to the hope of a loving purrrr-manent home in her near future!

Bite-sized inspiration

"Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around."

Dr. Leo Buscaglia
(1924-1998); Professor, Author

Dos años más tarde ...

My mom's got a point. "Even physical wounds would have healed by now," she says, while urging me to fix the two-year-old hole in my wall. When the event first happened, I was too ashamed to go to the leasing office to have them fix it. Then, I thought it served as a powerful reminder of what I left behind; I'd look at it in my moments of weakness.

But now it's just a downer.

We brainstorm ways to beautify it. I could ask the office to fix it, but that creates other complications -- namely raising awareness that I have an undeclared (feline) roommate. I could stick a photo there but that seems pretty random in the general scheme of my apartment's decorations. My mom sent me two pieces of art from Colombia a few months ago that I hadn't hung yet because they had gotten lost when I held them up on other walls. I decided to start with one. Tonight seemed as good as any other to take the bull by the horns and say "Hasta la vista!" to bad memories.

Before:

After:

Much better, no? :)

Some welcome levity ...

This blog fully owns up to taking on some heavy topics, but that's not to say this writer doesn't love the goofy or absurd. Without further ado, I present the most memorable Save the Date ever:

The dark side of a popular tool

CNN reports on the recent shaming of Craigslist for being an avenue for sex trafficking of minors. "Craigslist is like the Wal-Mart of online sex trafficking right now in this country," said Andrea Powell of the anti-trafficking group The FAIR Fund in this CNN interview last week.

Soon after that interview, human rights organization The Rebecca Project  wrote a letter from the perspective of two young women who were sold regularly on Craigslist, urging the website's founder to shut down the "adult services" section. The letter ran as a full-page ad in The Washington Post.

"According to the most recent Department of Justice statistics, an estimated 100,000 to 300,000 children are sold for sex every year in the United States. Most are from 11 and 14 years old," writes Malika Saada Saar, founder of the Rebecca Project, in the August 4th opinion piece for CNN Craigslist's shame: Child sex ads. "Try for a moment to imagine your fifth-grade child, niece or sister sold for sex."



At the 3:38 mark in the video segment of CNN's story, journalist Amber Lyon confronts "the Craig of 'Craigslist'" and asks "what are you guys doing to protect these girls?" He stands speechless and motionless, unable or unwilling to say anything. He then tries to put the onus on Lyon to report the inappropriate ads, to which she points out that his site is the one publishing and promising to take action against such pitches. He gets so uncomfortable he paces in front of the camera for an awkward 30 seconds before ultimately walking away in silence.

Craigslist responds to criticism in this opinion piece.

Just finished ...

A childhood classic that was a favorite of mine in both the book and movie format. I hadn't read Charlotte's Web in at least 15 years but I thought I'd revisit it when I serendipitously happened upon it in a used bookstore the other day. The timeless tale of friendship and self-sacrifice moved me as it had so many years before. Themes I didn't remember: respecting animals and growing up. The tender illustrations paired with the lively descriptions were a riveting combination. Tip of the hat to author E.B. White and illustrator Garth Williams.

Unexpectedly, I read the book more as a writer this time and less as a reader. I still was completely absorbed by the descriptions and the characters, but I viewed it from the lens of an aspiring children's book author. What I learned was that when a book comes from an authentic place, the author can draw in any type of reader. Reading about the rhythms and tasks of farm life is a topic that I am unlikely to feel connected to, having grown up in urban landscape my whole life. And yet, I felt fully present with Fern and her "best friends," the animals, and was drawn in by the narrator's knowledge. Ultimately, the book reminded me that no matter what our life experiences are or how simple an idea we have, the right combination of skill and heart can produce a poignant classic.

Summer's last gasp*

August is a melancholic month, haunted by memories of poisoned love. Romantic beach vacations gone awry. Threats uttered as his fist broke the wall. Terror, humiliation, the death of a relationship that has become my all. The heartbreak of his departure.

Trapped in my fractured reality, I've come to dread the way the sunbeams slant across my wall. They are the bars of my emotional prison. No other time of year do they cut into my apartment so drastically as in August.

His presence hangs in the air like stale cigarette smoke. Everywhere I look there are reminders that it wasn't just a bad dream: his ticket stub from Rome to D.C.; the can of men's shaving cream in the bathroom; a forgotten sock in the corner; the coffee-can-lid-turned-ashtray choked with cigarette butts.

Echoes of his words taunt me daily, sadistic remnants of the past. How long will they be my roommates? How many more sun-triggered flashbacks of despair? How much longer will I walk zombie-like in limbo between the hell of being with him and the ache of being without him?

*Time warp: I'd thought about writing this before but I needed distance to capture the emotions. It was written present-day but it's set in 2008 or 2009.

A thought to live by ...

What would you do if you knew you could not fail?

Bite-sized inspiration

True love is not a feeling by which we are overwhelmed. It is a committed, thoughtful decision.

--M. Scott Peck

Jar of Hearts

A shout-out and thank you to Miss K-Ro for introducing me to this haunting ballad. I love the rawness in Christina Perri's voice.



This song's awesome backstory: A L.A. waitress/singer-songwriter whose luck was changed by a reality TV show she wasn't a part of. Her success occurred before she ever stepped in front of the camera.

Hugely disappointed

I consider myself an enthusiastic fan of Rihanna for her musical abilities and for the role she's embraced in speaking out about abuse in the wake of last year's assault. Additionally, she devoted a number of tracks from her latest album to the subject of relationship abuse. Having said that, I'm left speechless and confused by her latest musical collaboration with Eminem. The melody is catchy but the lyrics are horrific -- doubly so when she is the one singing them, given her real-life experience with this issue. Read the lyrics here.



Like the athlete who bemoans the behavioral expectations that come with celebrity, Rihanna may not want to accept that every project she'll work on in years to come will be assessed with the assault in mind. I am sympathetic to not wanting to be defined by an unpleasant situation; but it's part of the responsibility she accepted by leaving and speaking out. She needs to consider what kind of message this is sending to the very girls she hoped to lead out of unhealthy situations.

Update 8/9/10: Buzz has built over the video as analysts and experts have broken down the underlying messages and complicated dynamics of not only the songwriting but also the pairing of Eminem and Rihanna.

From Women's Media Center:

Rihanna explained her motivations for being in the video to Access Hollywood. ... Rihanna has certainly made an effort since she unwittingly became the spokesperson for domestic violence to use that platform to give a voice to abused young women ...

By contrast, Eminem has never claimed to champion the cause of unheard, abused women, and in fact has often been identified as a perpetrator of domestic violence. While staging a similar “comeback” tour to the one he is staging now in 2008, Eminem told Esquire, “I’m a T-shirt guy now. But wifebeaters won’t go out of style, not as long as bitches keep mouthing off.” Eminem’s problematic relationship with women is also apparent in his popular music video for the song “Stan,” which ends with Eminem’s alter ego putting his pregnant girlfriend in the trunk of his car and driving off a bridge.

Precedents such as these immediately problematize Eminem’s goal of shedding light on both sides of domestic violence, especially as only the male voice (Eminem’s verses) describes an inherent contradiction in his feelings, or a hint of  three-dimensionality ... The woman’s only voice (Rihanna’s lines) does nothing but profess to love the abusive relationship– she likes the way it hurts.

 From MTV:

"The most important thing the video is doing is raising the topic of dating violence among young people," Stephanie Nilva, executive director of sexual assault and trauma resource center Day One, told MTV News.

An expert in relationship violence and domestic abuse prevention, Nilva praised the clip for accurately depicting a pattern typical of abusive relationships. ...

 From Feministing:

... the song doesn’t clearly condemn violence against women or intimate partner violence. In some ways, it can be easily read as a song about relationship troubles that may not necessarily require an intervention because the woman never leaves. If the old adage is true that the first step in solving any problem is admitting that you have one, this song seems to fail at clearly identifying that what we are observing is dysfunctional violence. The fact that the track is included on an album titled “Recovery” doesn’t help in clarifying things. The situation is also worsened by the portrayal of a survivor who seems complicit in her abuse because she doesn’t just love the way her aggressor lies, she “likes the way it hurts.” For me, this line scream [sic] victim-blaming central and it calls upon the counterproductive accusations that survivors sometimes face.

 From Women's Rights:

I see a significant problem with Rihanna's lines about liking the pain because, while it seems to read as a woman in love trying to justify staying, it confuses some people about the distinction between S&M and domestic violence. Non-abusive S&M is a consensual act between two partners for mutual pleasure; a situation like the one in the song, where the violence comes out of anger and pushed the abused partner to try to leave, and where it escalates to potential murder, is not S&M, it's just domestic abuse. ...

After all, approximately 1000 women (or more) are killed each year by intimate partners. Maybe Eminem and Rihanna could have worked that stat into their duet?

From M.G.H.: What we see is a reflection of the lyrical ambivalence toward the issue of domestic abuse. Most people sounding off online are relieved that the song has extended the national dialogue on abusive relationships, but there are many (this writer included) that are uncomfortable with how passive and supportive the victim is to her situation and the disturbing message that ultimately is sent. As Alex DiBranco from Women's Rights writes:

I hope that most people's take-away message isn't along the lines of victim-blaming, misunderstanding consensual S&M, or minimizing violence. Women's lives depend on it.