Marketers to the Super Bowl audience:

You, yes, you on the couch. We've never met. But we've been working months to show you that we get you.

If you're a guy, you're two-dimensional. You're part-baboon. You have no intellectual interests. You really, really, really like beer. In fact, that and a naked woman (together or separately) are enough to motivate you to do anything. You feel threatened by the fact that women have leveled the playing field and are asking you to be more than a paycheck. We recognize this in overt ways by telling you your best shot at holding on to your masculinity is to drive our car; or in subtle ways, by playing to your ego and casting you in the dominant role in every single commercial.

If you're a woman, you're also two-dimensional. You are annoying. You're not worth addressing with any of the millions of dollars at our disposal. You fit into this event as comic relief -- but don't expect to write or crack the jokes; the laughs will be at your expense. The only way you get to shine is if you're 88 and willing to be tackled to sell a candy bar. Otherwise, your place is in a hot tub, on a massage bed, or passively standing beside your husband as he tries to fight fees with the concierge. We are wholly unconcerned with the fact that we kowtow to the XY chromosomes in the room and flip the bird at you in the process. You'll get over it. You should be used to it by now. And you'll come back to buy our stuff anyway because, honestly, would you expect anything different from us on such a male-centric event? I mean, who do you think you are? Let the boys be boys, and let us make the money how we do. Go back to the hot tub. Oh, and on your way, get us a cold one.

A song for today

Aside from the freaky close-up and the Italian lyrics, check it out. I'll work on posting the translation when I don't have a snowbank asking to be shoveled off my car. :)



Update: Translated lyrics below

Tutto questo tempo a chiedermi cos'e che non mi lascia in pace
(All this time to ask myself what it is that's not allowing me to be at peace)
Tutti questi anni a chiedermi se vado veramente bene cosi
(All these years to ask myself if I was really doing well like this)
Come sono
(As I am)
Cosi
(As such)
Cosi, un giorno
(Like this, one day)
Ho scritto su un quaderno "Io faro' sognare il mondo con la musica"
(I wrote in a journal "I will make the world dream with music")
Non molto tempo dopo quando mi bastava fare un salto per raggiungere la felicita
(Not too long afterward it was enough that I make a leap to rejoin happiness)
E la verita e' che
(And the truth is that)
Ho aspettato a lungo qualcosa che non c'e'
(I waited for so long for something that doesn't exist)
Invece di guardare il sole sorgere
(Instead of looking at the rising sun)
Questo e' sempre stato un modo per fermare il tempo e la velocita'
(This was always a way to stop the time and the speed)
I passi svelti della gente, la disattenzione, le parole dette senza umilta'
(The quickening steps of people, the carelessness, the words said without humility)
Senza cuore
(Without heart)
Cosi'
(Like that)
Solo per far rumore
(Only to make noise)
Ho aspettato a lungo qualcosa che non c'e'
(I waited for so long for something that doesn't exist)
Invece di guardare il sole sorgere
(Instead of looking at the rising sun)
E miracolosamente non ho smesso di sognare
(And miraculously I never stopped dreaming)
Miracolosamente non riesco a non sperare
(Miraculously I continue to hope)
E se c'e' un segreto e' fare tutto come se vedessi solo il sole
(And if there's a secret it's to do everything as if you only saw the sun)
Un segreto e' fare tutto come se, fare tutto come se vedessi solo il sole
(A secret is to do everything as if, to do everything as if you only saw the sun)
Vedessi solo il sole
(As if you only saw the sun)
E non qualcosa che non c'e'
(And not something that doesn't exist)

On the lighter side ...

Loved, loved, loved this ad!



(I do not have any connection with Audi, nor is this an endorsement of their product.)

Fighting wrong with right

Special spotlight on Ne-Yo's efforts to fight relationship abuse by presenting a healthy model in his new song called "Heroes," which you can download for free at Macys.com/Ne-Yo. For each download, the clothing line Alfani will contribute $1 (up to $50,000) to support the RESPECT! Campaign.

See him perform it on Letterman (and remember the song sounds better in download version, so get a version at Macy's website, spread the word and pat yourself on the back for boosting a good cause!)

Processing pain

I've never identified with Eeyore. While I feel for him and always hope I'll get to see him having a good day, his negativity grates on me.

My parents raised my sisters and me with an appreciation for empowering oneself and rising above any difficult situation (both of them are political refugees and lost everything only to adapt and rebuild in three countries).

Which is why I hope that those of you who know me can appreciate the distinction between my self and my blog. Scanning the list of titles to prompt my memory of posts, I realize there's a lot on here that's sad, bordering on angry, and working from being victimized to becoming a survivor. I've used this space as a way of reclaiming my voice through the haze of disorientation and pain in the wake of major life changes. I've also dedicated a lot of real estate to domestic violence for healing purposes but also in hopes of raising awareness on an issue that is often kept safely in the shadows with justifications like "It's personal," or "It's just between them." The truth is it's a public issue and it's between all of us because on many levels our society permits it (and will continue to do so until more dialogue and ownership takes place). [dismounting soapbox]

It can be uncomfortable to face the rawness in these situations and disconcerting to see someone's heart laid bare (unless you're an artist who strives to do that as well), but I hope that you'll continue to take this journey with me. If you know me, I hope that you'll also set these soulful struggles within the greater picture of who you know me to be. If you don't know me, well, I hope that my writings resonate and move you on some level. If they give you greater clarity on some situation in your life, I would consider my time on earth a success.

I will continue to write through the process of healing, and embracing the transformative effect of pain. Looking back at legendary artists' lives, I can't help but notice that few, if any, led easy, happy lives. But they found solace in their pain with the opportunity to channel that into self-expression and into leaving some kind of legacy (although most died before earning the public's appreciation).  Studying their lives has motivated me not to run from the painful moments but to surrender to them instead.

"I do not believe that sheer suffering teaches. If suffering alone taught, all the world would be wise, since everyone suffers. To suffering must be added mourning, understanding, patience, love, openness, and the willingness to remain vulnerable."  (--Anne Morrow Lindbergh)

Silent beauty

Pitter, patter
softly falling
snowflakes float
onto the ground


Silent rev'rence
covers cities
like the blanket
on the ground


For a moment
just a moment
there is not
a single sound


But then a boot
pounds down its mark
and with a crunch
does sigh the ground.


December 18, 2009

Fairy Tale, meet Reality

December 27, 2009
A wave of nostalgia washed over me as I gazed at the photo of his brother seated on those familiar grooved stairs while playing with their excited Jack Russell terrier. Again I wondered if I hadn't dreamed the five years of love and companionship -- an escape with wondrous and nightmarish aspects folded into one reality.

At its best moments, we were weightless -- freed of all human and earthly constraints. At its worst, it was hell on earth -- a life prison sentence served in solitary confinement. Death Row would have been my exit route, if my cell door had actually locked behind me.

And I realized today that the only way I was able to withstand the abuse and denigration was for the dream-like quality of life as I knew it in Italy. When I was over there, the beauty, warmth and charm blinded me to the grime that coated my future. Once I removed myself from the enchantment, the spell broke. The prince turned into the dragon and the princess was left to fend for herself. It was something I initially could do quite well, but each trip over there he tied my hands a little more. He looped just another layer of rope around my wrists -- not enough to register with me as he did it but enough to weaken me to accept captivity and exile to the ivory tower. There I would remain doll-like, unstained, lonely and aching to take my place in the world. There I would be preserved as his accessory to win praise and admiration for him until my time was up and I was replaced, which I surely would have been.

So you see, the nostalgia was only for the time of soaring dreams and the conviction that believing in something so surely, so deeply would actually bring it to pass. Perhaps it's for my childlike innocence, that moment in time seemingly undisturbed by life's messes, until it became mixed into them in its own good time. For a "slow-mo" moment, it was a daydream paradise, an Eden of sorts, only  mine was a built perception of near-perfection instead of actual flawlessness.

"Fairy tales don't always have a happy ending, do they? / And I foresee the dark ahead if I stay" (Fergie)